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Cultural Update and Random Wisdoms - Меня зовут Тролль, Диматролль
July 7th, 2004
09:01 pm

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Cultural Update and Random Wisdoms
Having just proved myself that I can't eat a whole grilled chicken and two thingies of bread by myself, I decided to write a little cultural update to share my findings about the culture. (Great language, eh?) And since I found a site with random wisdoms, I will stick them in here to enlighten you about the wizdoms.

*** Throughout the entire human history, more people were killed by donkeys, than in airplane crashes. ***

Little before I left the States, I stopped by Ned's and picked up "The Russian Debutant's Handbook" by some American dude. I bought it because I thought it said "The Russian Diletant's Handbook" and being a Russian diletant, I thought it was about me. Relativly well-written book, strongly plot-driven, good character developments, horrible portrayals of the Russian mafia (except a few) and a very stupid ending. Moral of the book - don't try to be in the Russian mafia, rather marry a girl from Ohio and live there forever. Knowing that I consider Cleaveland, Ohio, one of the worst places in the world, it is not a surprise I didn't like it.

*** Continiously hitting your head against the wall will make you lose 150 calories per hour. Seems like I found a new way to lose weight! ***

The next book I read was the "Watch Series" - Night Watch, Day Watch and Twilight Watch (Ночной, Дневной и Сумеречный Дозор) by Alexander Lukianenko. It reads very fast, and is a good piece of science fiction. But why the hell does he position it at a modern alternative to Bulgakov's "Master and Margarita"? Seems like he needs to get his ego delflated. The first book starts good and ends horrible; the second book starts pathetically and ends decently; the third book is consistent all the way - horrible. Moral of the series: whether you are a mere mortal, or the greatest wizard ever, love is the strongest force in the universe and nothing can go untouched when it comes into play. Woo-hoo! The entire watch drama was created to allow the big boys to have the lovers they wanted and provide well for their children.

*** "Monology" (монология) is a study of stupidy. Can I still change my major, or should I save it for my PhD? ***

Out of chronology, but in the logical order goes the movie "Night Watch" based on the abovementioned series. Although based is a very loose term. The names are taken from the books, but the plot is just as relevant to the books as it is to Tolkien's LotR or Geothe's Dr. Faustus. The main loveline of the first book is ommited, and a secondary character that never shows up again becomes #1 bad guy. Oh yeah, he also somehow becomes #1 good guy's son whom he tried to kill through magic abortion (none of this in the book). The special effects are stunning. There is a car chase where a jet-propelled truck (full-size semi) screams through Moscow. There is a flying elevator. And there is a sword fight where the good guy weilds a flourecent lamp. Yes, a real flourecent lamp - about 40 inches long and with connectors on the sides. Supposevly, it is a "magic staff". Yeah...

*** Licking a post stamp takes 1/10 of a calorie. That means that sending 2000 letters will work off a soda can. Er... I don't think so! ***

My grandfather, my cousin-sister and I saw "The Bat" in Bolshoi Theater. I'll be brief - modern decorations suck, and I am completely unable to understand singing on stage. (As in understand the lyrics).

*** One cubic meter of wood makes half a million of toothpicks. Go figure... ***

I randomly watched "Blind Fury" on TV - some Hollywood action movie about a vietnam soldier who goes blind, then becomes a blind swordsman and kicks ass in Las Vegas. Nothing special, but a pretty decent movie. I was satisfied.

*** When you fall of your bed, you have 1/2,000,000 chance of dying. Not if you fall of a flying bed! ***

Read Milan Kundera's "Unbearable Lightness of Being" and "Laughable Loves". Good books, although the second one is nowhere tragic enough to what I was looking for, and the first one I considered to have a happy end. Unbearable lightness of being means that your life is so light, indepenant and undemanding, that you can hardly deal with it. Examples - your girlfriend dumps you and you are freed of all the responsibilities to her, but you can hardly bear it. Read the book.

*** It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. False. I just tried it, holding my eyes open with my fingers and still sneezed. It is much harder to swallow with your mouth open - try that one! ***

Reading Koster's Legend of Ulenspiegel right now. Good child fairy tale, although it is becoming more dry and political towards the end. I'll see how it ends.

*** One drop of oil (black gold type oil) can make 25 litres of water undrinkable (about 6 gallons). Now I know what to dump into the city's water supply. ***

That's all, folks! Stay on the line for more updates! Comment generously!

Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: Nashe Radio in one room, TV in the other

(5 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments
 
From:emidala
Date:July 7th, 2004 12:28 pm (UTC)
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dma when sweden you come?
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From:deema
Date:July 7th, 2004 01:00 pm (UTC)
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Aug 15th, if I buy my ticket on time. We discussed you in my previous posts - read the comments. I called you once, and you didn't pick up.
From:emidala
Date:July 10th, 2004 06:15 am (UTC)
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call again then
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From:taurendur
Date:July 7th, 2004 08:34 pm (UTC)
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generously
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From:deema
Date:July 8th, 2004 12:03 am (UTC)
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You are a monkey in love with a monkey.
I only need to figure out whether these are two different monkeys we are talking about...
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