You'd think I would never say a thing like that. Wrong! I just did. MAJOR PARANOIA.
It all started with me deciding to travel to the land of the dead and pass a message to one acquaitance of mine about another acquaitance of mine. When I got home from school, around 3 pm, I had a good lunch with a bottle of beer, and then got ready to send my spirit to the Necropolis. I did it too, I won't describe how, but it will have a major part in the Big Book of Deemism. It was the deepest trance that I have ever been in and it even scared me a bit, considering that it took effort to leave it. When I was done with my duties, I left the trance, blew out the candle and was so tired that I just collapsed asleep on the bed.
Then I got a phone call from someone, asking me to come to lunch. I woke up and went there, only to discover that I need cash. I stopped at the Wells Fargo bank, but the ATM, instead of giving me the money printed me a note saying that my account has been closed due to the death of the owner. After that my death certificate followed. It was strangely dated June 4th, as I later recalled. I was then approached by the manager, who explained to me that this was caused by my account inactivity, and it was just a buerocratic error. Although, he said, it will fuck up the rest of my life, considering that I am now legally dead. I left the bank and went home, running into a couple proffesors from school, who listened to me and agreed that the whole thing was really stupid. I got home and was so dead tired, that I collapsed asleep on the bed.
Then I got a phone call from my friend Dima, who asked whether he could come over and he said that he will be there in 15 minutes. I decided not to tell him of my death quite yet, but rather wait for him to get here first. I slept again. I was then awoken by my mom, who seemed to be informed of my untimely departure. She just briefly talked to me, assured that I wasn't really all that dead and left me to sleep again.
Then I got a phone call from Daniel. I woke up, looked around, saw Dima sitting next to my bed, using my computer, thought about what was just happening and said: "That was the most fucked up dream ever." And told him about what recently happened. Then Dima and I went to Costco, where I discovered that my Wells Fargo card has been deactivated. What was a dream???
I got home and I could bet there were lights on, but when I entered it was dark and there was noone home. I searched the house with a knife in my hand. Now I got a cocked Makarov on my table. And yes, I have been sleeping with a cocked Deagle for a few months now.
Major, major paranoia at hand. Necromancy is a dangerous art. I do not think that the fact that I am reading Sabriel has anything to do with it. I will just be more careful in the future.
And now I am off to see the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.