When someone tells me "Write letters" and I read in their eyes "I don't want to talk to you anymore", I send out one short letter that just says "letter" in it and let the person on the other side take the initiative at starting a conversation.
But when I see the person accidentaly two weeks after I send the letter and the person says "why didn't you write?" and I say "I did, I sent that short letter" and the person says "oh, I ignored that, waiting for a real letter" - then I get confused.
When the person adds "I am inviting people over this weekend, you will get an invitation this Saturday. I hope you come. And do write letter" and then two weeks later the invitiation never arrives. Then I decide that its the time to send a letter myself. One, because there hasn't been a day when I didn't think about her and second, because I was told to "write letters".
So I start the email. "You never replied to my last letter, so I decided to send another one.
***I was just interuppted by something that I will mention later***
Your invitation never came, how did that thing go? Tell me anything"
And I sent it off. Then I read/commented on LJ and started this post. Then, that "***" interruption happened. My email bounced back - I mistyped the adress. As I resent it, I added to it. I said how it just bounced and that I am adding a bit. I added that it was hard for me to write that first letter, that my head felt empty while writing. And thus I wrote about the emptiness. With that I sent it off.
But that was the nice way of putting it. Really, I got nearly paralized writing the letter. I got to the first two sentenses and couldn't write another word. I seriously considered not even sending it out at all. That must be the feeling that made sure that neither of us saw the other for over a month. My head even got a sharp stab of pain in it. With a great effort I added "Tell me about anything" and sent it off. Either I am getting old, or writing letters is getting hard.